Tianna

So technically he wasn’t my sibling. 
He started off as a friend I had met through intermediate at first we disliked each other because everyone use to say we looked alike and we hated purely because I was a girl he was a boy. But then one day something just clicked and we became best friends. His family became mine as mine did his. Fast forward to me turning 18 falling pregnant and having my best friend by my side. We moved in together but my hormones and being a first time mum and also being a first time renter everything was new to me we clashed and I admit I wasn’t as good to him as I wish I had of been. I gave birth to my beautiful baby and flaun has found him somewhere else to call home. We only saw each other 3x after that. 1 he came to visit 2. He had run out of petrol so I went to take him some petrol and the third time was him lieng I’m a coffin - was probably one of the hardest times of my life I was a first time mum to a beautiful 4 week old but I couldn’t enjoy him because my heart was shattered . I blamed myself , I blamed others but it didn’t take the hurt away. I asked why so many times and I sat in your old room and drunk myself sober. I stopped breastfeeding because I picked up the bottle .. I moved out of my house because there were to many memories and we were only there for a short time. It’s hard some days are harder then others but I’ve come to grips with the fact that he is never coming back. I think about his mummy , his daddy and also his brothers I think about his whole family. I hope they’re ok it’s just hard to see them without him. But I know he’s proud of me I feel his presence most days and when I need him the most. I miss his face . I miss his laugh and his bear hugs . I miss him. But he’s forever with me in spirit and I’m happy with that

Siblingpaulawjones .